July 2011
22 posts
1 tag
I feel like I ate a bowl of Cunty O's this...
I probably shouldn’t comment on anything on the Internets right now.
“Now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful...”
– Frank O’Hara
Vegas
tomyhusband:
You’d better be able to keep up.
To those who remember the Great Vegas Disaster of 2010…
Burden
For the past 3 weeks, I have been eating take-out because I can’t stand long enough to cook a decent meal. Hell, I can’t go grocery shopping because it’s logistically impossible to do while on crutches.
I went to the bar down the street to watch the World Cup and going down and up the hill almost reduced me to tears. Not only because I’m in pain, but because I realized how...
1 tag
In which persistence gets you nowhere
(1:40:04 am)heydottie:I’m not really looking for anything in particular, but if something happens, it happens.
(1:40:43 am)nyteChemical:cool
(1:40:58 am)nyteChemical:so you seem to be looking fo friends with benefits
(1:41:00 am)nyteChemical:just like m
(1:41:08 am)heydottie:No, not really.
(1:42:10 am)heydottie:FWB is easily attainable. I wouldn’t need to be on a dating website...
A Modern Sexual-Assault Tale
Man: Hello, I'd like to report a mugging.
Officer: A mugging, eh? Where did it take place?
Man: I was walking by 21st and Dundritch Street and a man pulled out a gun and said, "Give me all your money."
Officer: And did you?
Man: Yes, I co-operated.
Officer: So you willingly gave the man your money without fighting back, calling for help or trying to escape?
Man: Well, yes, but I was terrified. I thought he was going to kill me!
Officer: Mmm. But you did co-operate with him. And I've been informed that you're quite a philanthropist, too.
Man: I give to charity, yes.
Officer: So you like to give money away. You make a habit of giving money away.
Man: What does that have to do with this situation?
Officer: You knowingly walked down Dundritch Street in your suit when everyone knows you like to give away money, and then you didn't fight back. It sounds like you gave money to someone, but now you're having after-donation regret. Tell me, do you really want to ruin his life because of your mistake?
Man: This is ridiculous!
Officer: This is a rape analogy. This is what women face every single day when they try to bring their rapists to justice.
Man: Fuck the patriarchy.
Officer: Word.
I’m on more narcotics than House. It’s the VA’s version of Put A Bird On It.
In pain? Put a percocet in it.
Let's bitch!
My foot hurts.
I wanna make out with someone.
I don’t feel pretty today.
I really want pepperoni pizza and pot roast.
I want someone to talk to rather than whining to the Internets.
Whhhhaaaaaaa.
4 tags
Watchmegmess:
We’re totally going to make out with boys tonight, just like this.
I did this more than once during our conversation. And I let her do a video. ThisiswhyImsingle.com
